Hospice News

Discussing End-Of-Life Wishes with a Family Member

New Jersey – On Friday, April 16, 2010, the Barnabas Health Hospice and Palliative Care Center and Van Dyke Hospice and Palliative Care Center, affiliates of the Saint Barnabas Health Care System with locations in Long Branch, Newark, Toms River, and West Orange, support the 3rd Annual National Healthcare Decisions Day – a nationwide event to encourage people to engage in thoughtful advance healthcare planning and to encourage healthcare providers to honor those decisions.

Many families are uncomfortable bringing up the topic of final wishes.  In fact, even though 75% of Americans say they are in favor of advance directives, only 30% to 35% will actually complete one. Although it is a difficult conversation to initiate, it is important for caregivers to sit down with their loved one to discuss his or her wishes regarding end-of-life care and the measures they want taken in terms of life-sustaining treatment.

The Saint Barnabas Health Care System Hospice and Palliative Care Centers offer these suggestions to caregivers when approaching the topic of end-of-life care with a loved one:

• If the person says they expect to overcome their illness, you can suggest that you still need to talk “just in case.” 
• You can acknowledge that although you feel awkward bringing up the topic, you would not feel comfortable if you did not inquire about their final wishes.     
• You can mention that a friend was anguished when his/her parent died because he/she had not made their preferences clear or written an advance directive.
• To reduce uneasiness, you can say you want to make an advance directive for yourself and suggest the two of you complete them together.     
• For the terminally ill who argue that it is bad luck or too painful to discuss what they want at the end of life, you should acknowledge the person's feelings of discomfort, but tell him/her that you do not want to be put in the difficult position of making a decision that may be very different from what he/she desired.    

Once complete, the Saint Barnabas Health Care System Hospice and Palliative Care Centers recommend you make several copies of your loved one's advance directive and distribute them to the individual’s physician, attorney and family members.  It is also a good idea to keep a copy of the directive in a bedside drawer for emergency medical personnel to refer to if they come in response to a 911 call.

The Saint Barnabas Health Care System Hospice and Palliative Care Centers have created a new web link to provide support, understanding and information about issues related to serious illness. Whether you are a family member or caregiver, this online tool can assist in finding resources and providing advice during a difficult time. To access the site, please visit www.barnabashealthhospice.org and choose “seriousillness.org” from the menu.

Date: April 6, 2010

[ top ] [ back to News Index ]