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Know Child's Limits — And Yours — When Running Errands Together.

LONG BRANCH, NJ, June 2, 2006 - You find that you've got to get a few things at the grocery store, drop off a couple of prescriptions at the pharmacy and oh, yeah, pick up the dry cleaning. Should be no problem, done in a couple of shakes of a lamb's tail.

Just buckle in your 3-year-old and 6-year-old into the car and off you go.

If this seems like a relatively easy mission to accomplish, then maybe you've never taken young children with you when you're running errands.

The first piece of advice for parents is "Don't do it."

Don't take young children along when you have to accomplish a number of tasks.

Jean Bonn is the childbirth education manager for Monmouth Medical Center in Long Branch.

She is, in some ways, a real optimist when it comes to this subject.

"Kids can learn a lot going out on errands," she says. "It's a natural way to learn."

It can be, she adds, provided that the whole trip isn't rushed and crankiness doesn't rear its grumpy head.

"Give yourself time," Bonn says. "Everything takes longer with young children. You have to time the trip so that the children are not likely to become tired or hungry. Maybe that means making a few shorter trips rather than getting everything done in one fell swoop." Even then, she says, a parent should be prepared to cut the errands short, to abandon the mission.

"It's better to prevent a bad situation than to have to deal with one," Bonn says. Catherine MacManus, associate director of communications for the New York-based Parenting Group, which publishes Parenting magazine, offers the following sanity tips and teaching moments for those excursions with young children:

To stave off a "whinefest" during errands, make your child her own picture shopping list. She'll be so busy trying to find the onions for the stuffing that she'll forget she's bored.

Pretend the grocery cart is a truck you're navigating. If you need to stop, say "red light." If you're trying to get past someone, have the kids say "beep-beep."

Have the kids think up rhymes: One of the kids gives a word like "hair" and you might come up with: "There once was a bear with lots of hair who sat on a chair with its derriere."

Promise a reward for good behavior: Pay a visit to the nearby dollar store, where kids can each pick out a small treat.

While in the car, tell kids that you're going on a scavenger hunt and then give them a list of things to look for: a red car, a school bus or a man on a bicycle. It keeps their attention focused on something other than your tasks.

By scheduling activities after nap time, you'll shorten your window of opportunity, but you'll both be happier.

Even if she's eaten a meal at home, you should pack some juice, crackers or whatever it might take to sustain your child on her journey.

Accommodate kids' limits: You might only be able to take them in and out of their car seats three times before they've had enough. Then it's time to return to home base. But be warned: A toddler's limits may change without notice. If, for instance, your child becomes overwhelmed by the supermarket, go alone for a few weeks.

Start your own box of portable toys — the ones that end up at the bottom of the toy chest or new items that you buy especially for toddler outings. To preserve the mystique, keep the box off-limits to your child.

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