 “If I had two kidneys and he needed one, why couldn’t we share?” says Mary Clifford, an extraordinary friend and kidney donor. Her simple logic resulted in a gift of life for Darryl Pickett.
At first glance, these two close friends could not seem more different. Mrs. Clifford, a vivacious 60-year-old Irish-American wife and mother of five, enjoys telling the story of their friendship and “organ sharing.” Mr. Pickett, a 38-year-old, single, African-American man, is far more reserved, but his quick wit is a match for Mrs. Clifford’s.
They met at the office in 1991 and enjoyed a companionship that grew among a tight-knit group of co-workers. Several years later, when Mr. Pickett’s kidney disease required that he begin dialysis, Mrs. Clifford offered her kidney.
“I didn’t want to put her offer to the test,” recalls Mr. Pickett. Knowing his disease would eventually result in the need for a transplant, Mr. Pickett registered on the organ transplant waiting list. He simultaneously explored the living donation option with his family and another friend who had offered his kidney. “I told myself I could wait,” he reflects.
After three years of dialysis, Mr. Pickett’s declining health forced him to stop working and move back home with his family. Testing had revealed that his family and friend were not candidates for kidney donation. “I saw him deteriorate to a shuffling old man, instead of the young vibrant guy he was before,” remembers Mrs. Clifford.
In early 1999 Mrs. Clifford offered again. This time Mr. Pickett accepted. Mrs. Clifford spent almost a year undergoing rigorous testing that confirmed her own health would be unaffected and cleared the way for her living organ donation. The friends saw each other frequently but talked little about the potential transplant. “He was an enigma that year,” she says, describing her friend’s unexpected quietness. Mr. Pickett quickly explains, “I stayed detached because I didn’t want to persuade Mary. I knew that she could change her mind anytime and I wanted to give her room to do that.”
Successful transplant surgery was performed at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in April 2000. Looking ahead, Mr. Pickett is eager to get back to work and plan some leisure travel. Two episodes of rejection have prevented him from returning to his full routine yet, although he has regained his former stamina.
“No matter how different we may look on the outside, people are all the same underneath,” says Mrs. Clifford. The pair has spoken to the media and several community groups about their experience to spread the word about living donation.
“The only sad part is that there is probably nothing that I can ever do to make this up to Mary,” says Mr. Pickett seriously. “When someone asks us to tell our story, I do it because I want to thank her and let others know the importance of living donation. My advice to others waiting for a kidney transplant is not to be afraid. Tell people about your illness and discuss it with anyone who wants to listen.”
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